I can't even begin to tell you how many times people walk up to me on the street and say, "Andrew, you are hilarious. How do you do it? What's your secret? Teach me to be funny. I need this."
I have to say that first and foremost, funny can't be "taught." I admit that I find it humorous when I see someone buying books like How To Be A Stand Up Comedian, Stand Up Comedy for Dummies, or Ten Minute Microwave Masterpieces. Books like these were written by comedians so that they could send the suckers that buy them further and further off the beaten path so that they wouldn't pose a threat to the author later in life. The books will make ridiculous claims like "write jokes" and "be funny" and "poke several holes in the potato so it won't explode" without offering much more advice. The truth is, advice won't get you there.
Being a comedian takes more than just a lack of stage fright and a severe cocaine habit. You have to be sharp, quick witted, and clever. Sadly, this isn't learned in books. It's not taught in improv classes. It's not gained from watching hours of Comedy Central specials. It's a character trait. You know Eyore, that depressed donkey who lived in a tent in the forest? He could spend days watching George Carlin and Jay Leno and he'd never be able to write a decent joke that would get so much as a grin out of Winnie the Pooh, because he's just not funny.
I can fondly remember my first open mic performance in Seattle, nine years ago. I was nervous; I went on stage; I bombed. That's what happens when you start out. You have off nights. But then you go back. You take the stage as often as you can, and if you truly ARE funny, you get better. Sadly, open mics feature a lot of people who THINK they're hilarious, when in reality they're only making themselves laugh. I remember this dude named Peter who used to be at every open mic night I was at, and he made me wish I had a drinking problem. Standard protocol is that when your time on stage is up, someone shines a flash light at the stage so you know you're done. When this guy went on the stage they turned on every light in the room and brought up the house music. He was THAT bad.
Then there was the guy whose life was so horrible, he would go on stage and talk about all of the awful things that had happened to him that day. His set typically consisted of "I fought with my ex wife for an hour, then my car got repossessed, then I smoked a pound of hash. That's been my time, good night Seattle." Then he would disappear into an alley and none of us would hear from him for four days.
I tell you these stories so that if you are ever invited to see someone perform at an open mic night, you'll be prepared. The two drink minimum in a comedy club is not because the club wants to make money - it's the club doing you a favor so that you won't sue the owner for subjecting you to such terror. If you're plastered, you won't care.
Years and years of practice are required before you can play in the big leagues. I was lucky - I was noticed by a club owner in Seattle and was asked to work weekends. I gained corporate clients and performed at Christmas parties and charity functions. I made obscene amounts of money to do 25 minutes of work in front of a room of hammered mortgage executives in a Hilton ballroom. I worked with Ryan Stiles in a room of 1200 people, including the University of Washington Huskies football team. I dunno why I name dropped a team that won exactly zero games last season, but it's not like YOU'RE winning any Super Bowl trophies so don't judge. Just this morning I received a booking for The Comedy Store on Sunset, one of the most well-known comedy clubs on the planet, owned by the fabulous Mitzi Shore (yes, that's Pauly's mom.)
If you wish to stand on stage and make people laugh, think about the following:
When you make a joke at a party, are the groans around you drowned out by the sound of your own laughter?
Do YOU even laugh?
After you attempt to make a joke, do you have to explain it to everyone around you?
Do you make jokes about Star Trek/Microsoft operating systems/scientific experiments/World of Warcraft?
And I beg of you, before signing up for that open mic night, contemplate something: if you think that because you can carve a turkey at Thanksgiving you would also be an excellent brain surgeon, you are probably mistaken. If you told your dog a joke last week and the dog chuckled, that doesn't mean it was hilarious. It means your dog has indigestion and needs to be taken to the vet immediately.
Thank you for your time, and have a humorous day.
2009.06.30
Andrew tells a tale of a magic trick gone wrong, and the guys discuss "deceased" celebrities.
2009.06.29
Andrew and J.J. remember fallen celebrities and discuss the need to hire an intern using Andrew's Craigslisting skills.
Extremely high profile podcast hosts seeking one intern. You HAVE
heard of these two celebrities - we are unable to post the name of the
show due to security reasons. Finalists will be notified via email.
Fast-paced production environment with zero room for error. The last
intern to successfully complete this position now runs his own Fortune
500 company in Hong Kong. The last intern to make a mistake on the job
(brought 7-Up into the studio when Sprite was demanded) has not been
seen since and is rumored to be living in a mental institution in
Utah. This position can make you or break you - the choice is yours.
Applicants must be thick-skinned and able to juggle many things at
once (swords, flaming torches, small woodland creatures, etc.)
Confidentiality is extremely important as these hosts are in the
public eye every single day, and what you read in the National
Enquirer, US Weekly, People, The New York Times, the Los Angeles
Superior Court Subpoena - is almost always false. This job does not
require personal errands (child care, dry cleaning, burying of
undisclosed items) as those jobs are handled by a well-respected
Italian individual. This position is not for the faint of heart; if
the sound of bones cracking or the site of burning human flesh bothers
you, this is not the internship experience you are looking for. The
show staff includes two A+ list celebrities who are seen on television
and in print every day of the year, and the show's executive producer,
who has decades of industry experience, 7 Ph. Ds in various fields, a
multi-million dollar home in the hills of Los Angeles and a temper
that Variety proclaimed "makes Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada
looks like Mr. Rogers." Interns will rarely, if ever, deal directly
with him.
Duties include:
Lunch runs
Studio upkeep
Scheduling/Phones/Travel Arrangements
Special Projects as assigned by the tyrannical Executive Producer
Requirements:
Multi Tasking
Attention to detail a must
Proficiency with Word/Excel/Outlook/Tazers/
Able to lie in court
Ability to evade oncoming law enforcement officials at all costs
Willing to travel outside of the country for long periods of time,
possibly forever, at a moment's notice
Must be willing to put aside morals and better judgement in order to
do what is right for the show, not what it is right for the
environment/the children, etc.
Serious inquiries only. College credit is not currently available due
to the producer's sour relationship with most institutions of higher
learning. As he nears completion on his eighth Ph. D dissertation (
Language literacy as a socialization agent for Hispanic juvenile
offenders) he does not wish to deal with universities at this time.
2009.06.26
Andrew reminisces about life as an NBC Page and the guys discuss the whereabouts of the stars of Milo and Otis.
It's A Down Day in L.A.
We're saddened to hear of the loss of one of music's biggest influences...with the loss of Michael Jackson, those of us that grew up with his music lose an icon. His songs inspired people and brought generations together, and it's a tragic end to one of the biggest careers in music history.
The loss of a celebrity hits us in a unique way in Los Angeles. Just this week we lost Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and now Michael Jackson. When you live in a city that is submersed in so much celebrity culture, it hits you a little bit differently. All of us working in the industry could share stories...even if we hadn't personally met these people, we knew someone who had, someone who had worked with them, spent time with them, or simply ran into them in a restaurant and had a nice conversation.
It reminds us that we're all on borrowed time, and here in the city of angels, we get up every morning to entertain...to make you laugh, to make you feel, to make you cry your eyes out (sometimes intentionally, sometimes not so much.) To much of the world, the passing of a celebrity is a sad thing to hear; to those of us here it feels more like losing a friend, a co-worker, a family member.
It's been a tough week in the entertainment business, but as the saying goes, the show must go on. Ed knew it, Farrah knew it, and Michael knew it. We can only hope that when our time comes, you will all flood the streets and stop traffic...Michael may be gone, but what a sweet legacy to leave behind. He loved to entertain, and I'm sure he's preparing to walk onto a much bigger stage tonight, and I know he'll rock the place, 'cause that's just what he did.
J.J. and I thank each and every one of you for letting us play our small part in entertaining you every day...we don't sell out arenas, we haven't invented catch phrases, and teenage boys aren't hanging our posters on the wall (we hope,) but all it takes is one person telling us we're hilarious to assure us that we're doing something right. Thanks to Ed for the laughs, Farrah for the beauty, Michael for the tunes...and thank you all for letting us make you laugh.
Tonsillitis
Last week, I was out of work for 3 and a half days due to a nasty case of tonsillitis. If you have never had this dreaded sickness, you are lucky. The symptoms are as follows:
Trouble Swallowing
Cough
Headache
Fever
Chills
Oh yea, and pus covered tonsils.
My tonsils were much worse than the ones above. You couldn't even see a tonsil, let alone two tonsils. I really have nothing more than to tell you that I was sick. It felt better than being at work though.....
Trouble Swallowing
Cough
Headache
Fever
Chills
Oh yea, and pus covered tonsils.
My tonsils were much worse than the ones above. You couldn't even see a tonsil, let alone two tonsils. I really have nothing more than to tell you that I was sick. It felt better than being at work though.....
2009.06.25
The guys discuss the wealthy Hollywood lifestyle of show producer Hobbes. J.J. makes his first attempt at becoming a Christian singer.
It's My Party and I'll Strangle the Donkey If I Want To
I got to thinking today about birthdays. J.J.'s birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and I want to do something really special for him, like take him to Disneyland or the Bunny Ranch, or maybe a combination of the two. If the Bunny Ranch could come to Disneyland, that would be even more superior.
Then I realized that as you get older, birthdays become less and less awesome. Remember when you were five and you looked forward to your birthday party for months? You had to pick a theme, like Star Wars or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Enchantment Under the Sea. There were invitations to send out, a cake to choose, a skate rink to book. It was the event of the year and everyone on the playground was talking about it.
What has dawned on me in recent years is that birthdays are no longer about fun - they are about necessity. You don't get Legos and action figures when you turn 27. You get socks and, if you're lucky, your mom puts a hundred bucks in your bank account and says "go nuts." Then you take that money and use it to pay your water bill. Happy birthday...this year you have received the gift of moisture. Gone are the days of the party hats and clowns. The only way you'll ever get a cake is if you work in an office, and then the deliciousness of the cake is offset by the fact that you work in an office, so really you're just breaking even there.
The exception that proves the rule here is the Mexican birthday party, an event that lasts for weeks and involves pinatas and a six-piece mariachi band, fronted by Uncle Pablo. These birthday parties are required to take place in a public park and occur on weekends in every park within a 50-mile radius of Los Angeles. The upside to these events is that so many hundred people show up, you can easily sneak in line for some free tamales and no one will realize you're not A) a member of the family, B) Mexican, or C) wearing pants in public.
For those of us that don't benefit from Mexican birthday parties, I move we make a change. Let the little kids get new socks when they turn five. Let them spend their birthdays alone with a bottle of Whiskey, sleeping on a tarp in the living room because Sears repossessed their mattress. They get to play nonstop. Their birthday should be a time to reflect on all of the crap they haven't accomplished all year.
Meanwhile, the adults should be the ones playing pin the tail on the donkey and watching a 16-year old magician pull a stuffed rabbit out of a hat. Give us toy cars and G.I. Joes. No 5-year old appreciates a G.I. Joe; he has no opinion on the conflict in the Middle East or the sacrifices our troops make. He'll remove Joe's arms and bury him the back yard, but I will put him to good use. Give me the streamers and the balloons and the Barbie birthday cake. I deserve it. As adults, we all deserve it.
I'm out of time...and Mickey is on the phone.
This blog is dedicated and inspired by Helena Lucy White. Happy Birthday from all of us at AndrewandJJ.com!
2009.06.23
Allen makes a surprise phone call to the guys and Andrew makes J.J. laugh for nearly a tenth of the show all at once.
2009.06.18
Andrew discuss his night out with drag queens and Judge Judy and J.J. shows his appreciation for clouds.
What Did YOU Do Today?
In my abundance of free time over the last six months, I have discovered that the mind tends to wander, the body becomes lazy, the spirit detached. Motivation and determination are replaced with education and suffocation. Allow me to explain.
Day One of my unemployment routine went something like this:
8 AM - Breakfast (Eggs, bacon and toast)
8:30 AM - Apply for jobs
12 PM - Lunch (Grilled hamburger and fries)
12:30 PM - Apply for jobs
7 PM - Dinner (Spaghetti with meatballs, garlic bread, salad)
8 PM - Walk the dog
9 PM - Read a book
10 PM - Bed time
The human spirit tends to dissipate after six months of unsuccessful job hunting. A typical day in my life now follows a somewhat different pattern:
8 AM - Still in bed
8:30 AM - Yep, sleeping
11 AM - Maybe I'll get up
12 PM - Okay, fine, I'll get up
12:30 PM - Breakfast (Half-eaten Hershey bar)
1 PM - Facebook
4 PM - Lunch (Captain Crunch out of the box)
4:30 PM - Facebook
6 PM - Facebook
8 PM - Look at the dog
8:30 PM - Watch a rerun of Newsradio on Hulu
10 PM - Wikipedia
11 PM - Think about looking for a job
11:30 PM - Dinner (Microwave burrito and potato chips)
12 AM - Facebook
1 AM - Stretch
2 AM - Facebook
As you may notice, there are subtle differences between the two schedules. These differences happened gradually until I woke up one day and realized I had fallen into the bottom of a pit of despair and Captain Crunch berries. Upon slamming into the bottom of the pit, my feelings were hurt, my ego was bruised and my Rush t-shirt somehow got torn right across Geddy Lee's face.
I mentioned education becoming a part of my daily routine. While I am sure this sounds productive, I can assure you that it is not. Did you know that the San Francisco trolley system is run by four 520-horsepower motors? Were you aware that Fantasio was not the original inventor of the appearing candle illusion? Are you privy to the fact that there are approximately 670 types of well known cheese? Or that it is illegal to peal an onion in a hotel room in Montana, but you will only be fined rather than imprisoned, whereas in Connecticut it is a felony to murder someone while wearing a mask? This is the "education" I have succumbed to - useless facts that would put an accountant to sleep.
What's horrific is the amount of things I COULD be doing, but am not. I would like to insert pictures with this post, but I won't. It's not because I don't want it to look pretty, it's because every time I add pictures, it screws up the format, and rather than looking up ways to fix this, I have found it easier to simply give up and give to you, the loyal reader, a sub par product. My oil needs to be changed. In fact, my oil has needed to be changed since November. I didn't have time in November, and the little sticker on the corner of my windshield kept taunting me, yet I couldn't take my car in because I was too busy WORKING.
The problem with unemployment is that it causes procrastination. If I had a nickel for every time I've said "I can do that tomorrow...it's not like I have anything else to do..." well, then I would have a full time job right there. Sadly no one pays money to someone so that they can procrastinate. Well, except for the U.S. Government, which according to the Internet is conspiring against us in ways you can not even fathom.
A wise half-Mexican once told me, "It's the people that have things to do all day that get things done. It's the people that have nothing to do that accomplish nothing as well." I have discovered that it rings true. When I was working, I was very productive. The house was clean, the yard was trimmed, the car was washed, the economy was thriving and gas was a dime a gallon. Now look at where we are. There are paw prints on the ceiling, we can't find the yard, I assume the car is IN the yard somewhere, the economy is probably in the TRUNK of the car, and the car doesn't run because gas is 57 bucks a gallon and September 11th was an inside job and the dinosaurs never existed and Barack Obama is a robot operated using nuclear power supplied by Vietnam.
I have to go. Someone sent me a comment on Facebook.
Day One of my unemployment routine went something like this:
8 AM - Breakfast (Eggs, bacon and toast)
8:30 AM - Apply for jobs
12 PM - Lunch (Grilled hamburger and fries)
12:30 PM - Apply for jobs
7 PM - Dinner (Spaghetti with meatballs, garlic bread, salad)
8 PM - Walk the dog
9 PM - Read a book
10 PM - Bed time
The human spirit tends to dissipate after six months of unsuccessful job hunting. A typical day in my life now follows a somewhat different pattern:
8 AM - Still in bed
8:30 AM - Yep, sleeping
11 AM - Maybe I'll get up
12 PM - Okay, fine, I'll get up
12:30 PM - Breakfast (Half-eaten Hershey bar)
1 PM - Facebook
4 PM - Lunch (Captain Crunch out of the box)
4:30 PM - Facebook
6 PM - Facebook
8 PM - Look at the dog
8:30 PM - Watch a rerun of Newsradio on Hulu
10 PM - Wikipedia
11 PM - Think about looking for a job
11:30 PM - Dinner (Microwave burrito and potato chips)
12 AM - Facebook
1 AM - Stretch
2 AM - Facebook
As you may notice, there are subtle differences between the two schedules. These differences happened gradually until I woke up one day and realized I had fallen into the bottom of a pit of despair and Captain Crunch berries. Upon slamming into the bottom of the pit, my feelings were hurt, my ego was bruised and my Rush t-shirt somehow got torn right across Geddy Lee's face.
I mentioned education becoming a part of my daily routine. While I am sure this sounds productive, I can assure you that it is not. Did you know that the San Francisco trolley system is run by four 520-horsepower motors? Were you aware that Fantasio was not the original inventor of the appearing candle illusion? Are you privy to the fact that there are approximately 670 types of well known cheese? Or that it is illegal to peal an onion in a hotel room in Montana, but you will only be fined rather than imprisoned, whereas in Connecticut it is a felony to murder someone while wearing a mask? This is the "education" I have succumbed to - useless facts that would put an accountant to sleep.
What's horrific is the amount of things I COULD be doing, but am not. I would like to insert pictures with this post, but I won't. It's not because I don't want it to look pretty, it's because every time I add pictures, it screws up the format, and rather than looking up ways to fix this, I have found it easier to simply give up and give to you, the loyal reader, a sub par product. My oil needs to be changed. In fact, my oil has needed to be changed since November. I didn't have time in November, and the little sticker on the corner of my windshield kept taunting me, yet I couldn't take my car in because I was too busy WORKING.
The problem with unemployment is that it causes procrastination. If I had a nickel for every time I've said "I can do that tomorrow...it's not like I have anything else to do..." well, then I would have a full time job right there. Sadly no one pays money to someone so that they can procrastinate. Well, except for the U.S. Government, which according to the Internet is conspiring against us in ways you can not even fathom.
A wise half-Mexican once told me, "It's the people that have things to do all day that get things done. It's the people that have nothing to do that accomplish nothing as well." I have discovered that it rings true. When I was working, I was very productive. The house was clean, the yard was trimmed, the car was washed, the economy was thriving and gas was a dime a gallon. Now look at where we are. There are paw prints on the ceiling, we can't find the yard, I assume the car is IN the yard somewhere, the economy is probably in the TRUNK of the car, and the car doesn't run because gas is 57 bucks a gallon and September 11th was an inside job and the dinosaurs never existed and Barack Obama is a robot operated using nuclear power supplied by Vietnam.
I have to go. Someone sent me a comment on Facebook.
2009.06.16
Andrew and J.J. engage in a heated debate over democracy and the guys take an in-depth look at the workings of the White House. Andrew declares his mission to become the second black U.S. President. J.J. is skeptical but supportive.
2009.06.12
The guys from Fun Box discuss the landscape of British television with a show called Green Wing while Andrew and J.J. contemplate the dangers of putting their hands in a toilet filled with syringes.
Saw Trailer
Straws
Straws make things so much better!
Here is a list that involve straw(s) that are awesome:
Coca Cola out of a bottle
Straw hats
Milkshakes
Scarecrows
Cocaine
Here is a list that involve straw(s) that are awesome:
Coca Cola out of a bottle
Straw hats
Milkshakes
Scarecrows
Cocaine
2009.06.11
Andrew and J.J. are visited by Baldrick and Balthazaar while Paul loads his revolver in the corner.
2009.06.10
Fun Box discusses the history of the thimble and gives us their Youtube recommendation for the week.
The Multiplying Everything Routine
I've come to the conclusion that Los Angeles is too big. It's too big and therefore there are about 100 options for ANYTHING in this city, when all you need is one. Allow me to explain.
I lived in Bozeman, Montana for two years. A nice sized college town that offered entertainment, sports, fine dining, health care, transportation - you name it, Bozeman had it. And you didn't have to pour through your options when it came to anything, because city planners made it simple. Once we had one, we didn't need 19 more just like it.
vs.
Bozeman offered:
-One shopping mall. You could live on the far end of town and it would take you five minutes to get there. None of this "do I go to the Galleria or to the Beverly Center? What about the Fashion Center in Northridge? Maybe Topanga has it? Perhaps the Burbank location. Eagle Rock Plaza might. How about the Camarillo outlets?" No. One mall. Know what it was called? The Mall.
-One university. It offered any class you needed and a brain dead monkey could get accepted, yet it would still graduate as an intelligent, well-rounded student. One university. Do you know how many colleges Los Angeles has? 103. Google it. Who needs 103 institutions of higher learning in a city with a high school dropout rate of 35 percent?
-One Taco Bell. I mean really - health food experts would consider even that to be one too many.
-One freeway. It's called Interstate 90 and it runs from Seattle to Boston, and is 3,084.61 miles from end to end, making it the longest interstate in the country. And it's 1,100 miles from Los Angeles, which by my last count had 87 freeways, 19 state routes and 41 junctions so confusing NASA had to stop taking satellite pictures of them for fear of the camera melting from overload.
-We had two grocery stores. I have to explain that we had Town and Country, a nice little mom-and-pop operation that had turned into something decent, and then we had Albertsons because corporate evil had somehow made its way into Big Sky Country.
-One mountain. It was called Bridger Peak, it stood 8,583 feet high and it was majestic to look at. We didn't need this whole range of ridiculous hills to trap the smog in and cover with radio towers and fire in the summer time.
-One phone company, Internet company, power company, water company, gas company, you get the idea. You took the TV deal that they offered to you because that was your only choice...and when you live in Montana you don't watch TV. You go outside because you have no fear of being stabbed at the park for wearing the color red.
-One high school. The football team was undefeated because they had no one else to play. How many high school graduates in L.A. can say their team never lost a game in history? The answer is none - no high school football players in L.A. graduate from high school. Fooled you there.
-One Denny's, which existed until the manager got in over his head due to massive gambling debts, grabbed $40,000 from the safe one night and left the state. Ironically, they then converted the Denny's into a casino. True story.
-One news station. NBC. The station was run out of an old brick building and had a Subaru to send out the reporter. Breaking News referred to something interesting happening, like the explosion that rocked downtown and took out a restaurant and an art gallery. None of this KTLA/KCAL/KNBC/KFML garbage where every single story has the Breaking News title in the lower third. Lindsay Lohan being arrested for snorting cocaine while driving topless down the 101 on Christmas Eve is not breaking news - it's expected. Bozeman news covered stuff you actually cared about, and the evening sports guy was 19 and wore basketball shorts when he was on the air.
-One court house/police station. If you had jury duty, which you didn't because there was no crime, you drove to the same building as everyone else.
-One hospital. When you got run over by your own tractor, your family didn't have to call all of the hospitals to try and find you. Your detached limbs were lying on the one table in the one exam room of the one emergency care facility in town, and it was up on a hill above Main Street so everyone could see when the one ambulance arrived with your torso.
-One funeral home with one hearse. The car had a vanity license plate with "DROP DEAD" written on it. No joke.
-One "busy" intersection, at the corner of 19th and Main. At "rush hour," traffic would sometimes back up five cars deep at a red light.
-Zero parking meters. Zero pay lots. Zero valet options. When you wanted to park somewhere, no one cared if you had cash on you, or how long you were going to be there, or whether or not it was a street cleaning day. You parked, you left your car unlocked, and you were worry-free. Yes, even at the airport.
-Zero night clubs because night clubs are stupid. If you wanted to listen to loud music and dance to funky lights, you drove your truck into an empty field (a 40-second commute from anywhere in town,) blasted the stereo and stared at the most stunning night sky you could imagine. L.A. has movie stars; Bozeman had ACTUAL stars.
-One airport. None of this nonsense about Burbank versus LAX versus Ontario versus John Wayne. The airport was built out of old timbers and looked like an oversized log cabin, yet was still serviced by American, Alaska, Delta and United. Arriving at the field, checking in for your flight, checking your bags, going through security and reaching your gate was a five-minute process. The last five-minute process I had at the airport was the length of the sigh I let out when I saw the security line at LAX. I passed out due to lack of oxygen and it took 1 of the 18 ambulances they called 6 hours to get staffed by 3 graduates from 1 of 103 colleges, travel 7 freeways, sit at 14 busy intersections, find 2 open spaces to fit into in 1 of 9 different parking lots, pay the 8 bucks to park, locate me at 1 of 21 terminals spread out over 4 airports, stop at 1 of 207 Taco Bells to refuel, call 1 of 8 different news stations to report the story, and figure out which of the 19 hospitals to take me to. In Bozeman, if I passed out on the sidewalk, the man robbing the 1 local bank would stop to give me CPR. Ironically, while sprawled on the ground at LAX, I was stepped over by 13 doctors, 9 lawyers, 49 wannabe actors, 1 actual actor, 16 mechanics, 52 college students, 31 Armenians, 104 Mexicans, 72 Jews, 19 African Americans, 25 Asians, and 1 white guy...and zero of those people stopped to revive me because while Los Angeles has too much of everything, the majority of the stuff we have too much of is already pretty useless.
2009.06.09
J.J. comes...clean about his David Carradine-style of masturbation and the group gets into a heated discussion over the assassination of President Garfield.
2009.06.08
Matt saves the life of an anti-semite on his way to the studio, and the guys discuss the crimes of the Amish.
What do you mean I can't touch myself?
J.J. Here.
As you might have heard on our podcast today, as of May 22nd, I stopped all sexual contact until June 30th at midnight. This means no masturbation and no sex.
I'm on my 14th day and I have a vast amount of new hobbies. Any questions?
As you might have heard on our podcast today, as of May 22nd, I stopped all sexual contact until June 30th at midnight. This means no masturbation and no sex.
I'm on my 14th day and I have a vast amount of new hobbies. Any questions?
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