You Can't Take it With You

As our trip to London quickly approaches, J.J. and I are faced with a dilemma that any world traveler encounters - what to take when we go. What will I need? What if I forget something? Will they have it there? What if they don't? Will I die without it? Do Europeans have dysentery? 

Contrary to popular belief, Europe boasts many of the same luxuries of America: indoor plumbing, electricity, even Internet. It's not as though I'd be in major trouble if I forgot to pack a pair of socks or a tooth brush. England has plenty of socks. No tooth brushes, obviously, but plenty of socks. I suppose I could rub tooth paste on a sock and rub my teeth with it. Is that ridiculous? Dental hygiene is important; it's what makes us American.

I've gotten off track. Let me explain what makes us easy to travel with, as opposed to traveling

with, say, girls. J.J. and I have alloted ourselves 65 liters per person for clothes, toiletries, camera equipment, and various other items to keep us entertained as we fly to the other side of the world. 65 liters, all of which fits on our backs in a nice backpack purchased from REI. I'm not sure how they came up with liters for these things, quite frankly...I guess they fill them up with gas and when the pump stops they determine how many liters it will hold. 

Now as we've told girls of our plan, many have been shocked at the small amount of packing we'll actually be doing. Even more shocking to them is the idea of shoes. Shoes, shoes, shoes. Women in L.A. are all obsessed with shoes, and are amazed we aren't each bringing nine different sets of heels, all of which are the same color but all of which are used for different occasions, i.e. Monday, Tuesday, etc. 

My main hatred of carting a lot of stuff around is the process of checking bags and the horrible wait that comes on the other side as you stare at the baggage carousel, watching as more and more bags come down the chute, all of which look slightly like yours, none of which actually are yours. They should install a blood pressure machine next to that thing in the airport because every time I stand there, I am more and more convinced that my bag has somehow ended up in Beijing while I'm in West Virginia. 

As someone with a degree in journalism, I do feel the need to report the whole truth here, which is that in the process of flying to London last August, I ran into one of my idols, Bruce McGill. Yeah. He played Jack Dalton throughout seven incredible seasons of MacGyver. As we chatted on the plane, I realized I needed a picture with him. Having checked my bag, I decided it would be wise to ask him at baggage claim - his wife lovingly obliged and took the photo for us. This, however, is the only good thing to have ever come from checking bags. The airlines now opt to charge you $375 per bag you're checking, which is why it's so lovely to carry on and

save yourself the same amount of money it would have cost to just buy the seat next to you and belt your suitcase into it.

It's also about logic. Ten hours on an airplane, a 3-mile walk to the subway, 40 minutes on the Underground, 4 hours in a London train station, 25 minutes at Starbucks, 3 hours on a train headed north, 30 minutes in a car to the house, 17 stairs to the bedroom - the less crud I have to cart around with me, the better. 

And that's why I'm only taking one pair of shoes to Europe. 

Our English Trip and the Magic Castle

We go deep into the world of magic and come out English.

Craig D Sklenar's Resume

We have officially received our first resume. So as promised here you go!

--------------------------------
To Whom It May Concern:
Thank you for taking the time to review my resume for a position in your organization. Over the past eight years from college to practicing in the professional world I have been overly passionate about changing the urban world for the better. I was hired at EDAW in the spring of 2005 as full-time intern and soon transitioned to a full time urban designer/planner in December of 2005. Due to the economic downturn I was unfortunately furloughed in December of 2008, I have enclosed recommendation letters from my primary supervisors at EDAW. Prior to employment at EDAW, I worked for a period of 10 years at a title insurance company during school holidays and summer breaks. At this job I gained extensive administration skills and was often tasked with special projects or organizing certain departments. I gained most of my professional skills from this experience.

My skills always meet required needs and often exceed expectations. My education in urban planning and urban design might not be the most logical education to have for this particular position, but having received an outstanding education makes me an ideal candidate in several fields. I have extensive knowledge in preparing final graphics and reports that are innovative not only in their layout but in the content as well. I am proficient in the full Adobe Creative Suite products such as InDesign, Illustrator, and Photoshop. I am also experienced in SketchUp, AutoDesk, ArcGIS and the entire Microsoft Office Suite. My experience has not all been in the classroom or a training course. I am a fast learner and willing to ask questions if I do not understand how to accomplish a work task.

I am an enthusiastic, intelligent professional with a broad range of education and experience in a wide variety of projects that have exposed me to a variety of design challenges. I am a great communicator to clients and able to convey ideas and negotiate any compromises and revisions in a timely efficient manner that does not compromise our design morals while pleasing the client. I would be a fantastic addition to your staffing needs and I hope you strongly consider me for a position with your organization. I am very much interested in helping communities throughout the world as planning is a common ground regardless of ethnic or economic background, the main principles of planning can shape and mold into the needs and desires of any community. My passion for travel and openness to new and exciting places would make me an excellent addition to your staff.

Thank you for your time considering a position for me in your organization. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me directly or my references, they would be more than happy to answer any questions you might have.

Sincerely,

Craig D Sklenar, AICP


CRAIG D SKLENAR'S RESUME

HD Signals, English Pounds, and Television Licensing

Andrew and J.J. go HD, talks of exchange rates and the terrible tax on your English T.V.

Leaving L.A. and Chopping Mall

Heated discussion of our upcoming trip to England disturbs Andrew and our rental choice for the weekend is a little gem called Chopping Mall.

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Resumes and Technical Difficulties

Hey there ladies and gents, J.J. here with some great information for your Thursday. First off, I want to mention that our economy sucks. Remember when SUVs were the hot ticket item and the Hybrid cars were just Science Fiction? Weren’t those the days? Well guess what? That’s over! We are in a terrible economy and jobs are being taken away. I personally know ten people if not more that are unemployed. I find this terribly scary and want to help my friends try to get new jobs.

Sooooooo to do our part to help, I am asking all of you that do not have employment to send us your resumes to andrewandjj@gmail.com. Wait, did he just ask for our resumes? Yes, I did. Andrew and I have discussed using this medium in a good way, instead of just joking about everything…. even though we will probably make a joke or two about your resume. Why not? I’ll post mine if you really want.

If you or a friend is unemployed send in a resume. Be fair warned, that in doing so, you are giving us permission to post it on our blog…. which is really want you want right? We are giving you free media coverage. Send in a cover letter, tell us a job that you are trying to get and sell yourself on our site. It can be for anything, we will post it in one way or another.

Now onto some really important stuff! I know some of you are having some trouble adding us on iTunes. Since we resubmitted our RSS feed we have had to wait for iTunes to review our feed again and post it. (An RSS feed is basically a way to get complete and up to date media and content from a website. Most blogs will have an RSS feed so people with an RSS reader can see the information that has been posted. It works the same for iTunes. We submit a feed address and they search our site for any new podcasts and link it to their directory.) Well, sometimes it takes awhile. iTunes says at the most it will take up to 2 weeks, but it will be up soon. Until then, if you can’t wait to subscribe. I will tell you how to subscribe without having to search for our podcast.

1. While you are in your iTunes, go to the Advanced drop down and click on “Subscribe to Podcast.”



2. Enter in the following: http://andrewandjj.blogspot.com/atom.xml

Then you will have minutes if not hours of enjoyable content from your favorite duo…. and I mean us and not Batman and Robin.

Don’t forget, send in your resumes to andrewandjj@gmail.com

I love you all…
J.J.

J.J.'s letter to Paul Rudd and the Guinness Brewery

We speak with Allen and introduce a new segment where we write letters to celebrities. 

Beach Communities and Hong Kong Flip out

We talk about the local LA beaches....and Hong Kong beaches.

Fore!

In order to take advantage of the sunshine and warmth of the last few days here in the city, I decided, in my infinite wisdom (no, seriously) to throw my golf clubs into the car and head on up to Scholl Canyon, a golf course just ten minutes from my house...or three hours during peak driving periods.

One positive thing about living here (there are a total of three in case you were curious) is the ability to engage in almost any activity. We have it all. Sports and recreation, leisure, the sun, the surf, the mountains, the desert, the snow, the crime. It's all right here in Southern California. And thank God for the genes in my family that ingrained the love of golf in me at a young age. My grandfather once saw Jack Nicklaus on television. He turned to me and said "Andrew, you're gonna be a golfer." It was actually Jack Nicholson but I didn't want to point out the obvious to a wise man like him.

Anywho, in my research on the best courses in the area, I discovered several things.

1. If you want to play golf in Pasadena, or do anything in Pasadena for that matter, be prepared the shell out at least $45,000 on "membership fees." These permit you to enter the establishment, much in the same way a Costco card allows you into the "superstore."

2. A private course is like a private university. If you have to ask, you probably don't belong there.

3. While the pictures are appealing, I'm not driving to Orange County to play a round of golf. A good rule of thumb (whatever that phrase means) is this: If it takes you longer to GET there than it does to play 18 holes and have a cocktail at the clubhouse, it's probably not worth the drive.

4. Driving ranges are awesome. Putting greens suck.

5. Miniature golf does not count. If your favorite course has a windmill or a clown, chances are you're teeing up with five-year olds. 

I prefer the driving range at Scholl Canyon because it's beautiful - I took the drive up there a few weeks ago at night and looked out over the city lights, or at least in the direction where I assumed the lights to be. L.A. is a little smoggy. Even during the day, however, with the sun beating down overhead, a nice cool breeze will often greet you when you get out of your car as you stand atop Some Random Mountain above Glendale. Ten bucks will buy you two buckets of balls, and then it's Game On.

There are ups and downs here. Upsides include the ability to focus all of your anger and frustration on one single golf ball, and then you get to smack the living daylights out of it with a club and watch it travel six yards because you lifted your head too soon. This brings me to the downside, which is that the other golfers at the range, whose medium age appears to run about 85, can all watch you and snicker at your failure. But things will look up! Keep at it, keep your head down, follow through, and watch your hatred of life fly into the air when your driver finally makes contact with that stupid, stupid ball. 

It's a cheap date, it's not far off, and who knows? If you're lucky you may meet the man or woman of your dreams in the pro shop, and what's better than that? Especially since it's called a "pro shop." It automatically lifts your spirits and makes you seem like you're spectacular at this.

"Hey, where's Jim?"

"He's in the pro shop."

"Ooh, fancy! He must be amazing at this! How can we get in there?"

"I think the door is next to the water fountain."

"Thanks."

Scholl Canyon is just ten minutes from downtown Glendale - take the Holly Drive exit from the 2 North and follow the signs. The course offers lessons for all ages and features a full pro shop and great food made to order all day long. Call 818-243-4100 for tee times and directions, or visit www.schollcanyon.americangolf.com to book online. And be sure to tell 'em Andrew sent you! They'll pretend not to know who I am but they know. Trust me, they know.

Special guest Allen, The Watchmen Movie, and Slapping

Special guest Allen Nessen speaks with our hosts about such topics as domestic violence, the Watchmen, and coming out of the closet.

Parking and Eyeball Cameras

Parking in LA blows, but here is a cool news story.

Email Subscription

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Vegas Baby Vegas

We discuss the truths of prostitution, mob dealings, and gambling in the desert city.

SNL

Hello, Its me, J.J.
I'm going to talk to you today about Saturday Night Live. I recently purchased the first season of SNL and have been very happy with my decision. It was either buy that or spend my entire paycheck and get all 16 seasons of Friends. I decided that SNL was cheaper and much funnier.

I have some questions about the first season. Chevy Chase, what the hell happened to you? You were funny. I actually liked you on SNL.....At least when you fell down on every show people laughed. Now you have to jump out of a plane without a parachute for people to take notice.

Second, John Belushi, what the hell happened to y..... I'm sorry. Too soon? He, by far, is my favorite comedian on the first season. I might be bias because I am a huge fan of Animal House, but his delivery was amazing.

The only thing I have noticed that has changed from the old to new, is the lack of comedians in the show. Thats not a rip, I mean ACTUAL comedians doing stand up in the show. Its much like when Leno's musical guest is too drunk to get to the stage or can't make it that night. On SNL, they actually slotted for comedians like Andy Kaufman to perform "Mighty Mouse" or "Old McDonald had a Farm." With the amount of comedians today, don't you think that the show would be awesome with someone like Zach Galifianakis doing standup? I know I would love it.


If today's show was like the 1970's version. We would have comedians doing stand up on the show, the muppets would do a segment (yea Jim Henson Muppets), more sexual language, and more fake commercials and videos. Who else likes "I jizzed in my pants?" More of that please.....

So SNL here is a nickel's worth of free advice. Produce more content outside the studio. Make crazy commercials that are funny. Oh one last thing, make sure one of the cast dies of a drug overdose. That always helps ratings.

A Letter from Catherine

Here is the letter we received from our new girlfriend/listener Catherine.

Subways, Jury Duty, and the Magical Monorail

The disappearance of the Los Angeles public transportation System has confused our hosts.

Check out this interactive L.A. subway thingy.

Girl Scout Cookies, Boondock Saints, and the Mystery Text

Andrew and J.J. speak of the beauty that is girl scout cookies and the mystery text message.

Swapping Seasons for Uncertainty

Andrew here. It's a common fact that Los Angeles has more annual days of sunshine than that of the actual sun. People come to this place to sit on the beach in December, to celebrate Thanksgiving in the back yard, to cook pancakes on the sidewalk in July. We're not really into "rain" here. In fact, the city features no storm drains, therefore on the rare occasion when water somehow falls from the sky here, it simply collects in the middle of the street and wreaks havoc among the inexperienced drivers who speed through these miniature lakes and fishtail into Mexican supermarkets, sending tortillas and small children flying in all directions.

It sounds like a horrible scene, but it's one that rarely plays out due to the glorious weather our fairy city provides 364 days a year. The rest of the country is envious; while motorists on the east coast are stranded in snow on the Long Island Expressway in February, we're playing volleyball in the park. But all is not as it seems....

Beneath the sunny exterior lies an inevitable storm, the likes of which the world has never seen. No snow, no hail, no wind...just shaking. Lots and lots of shaking. For years, scientists and cat ladies pushing shopping carts have warned us that "The Big One" is coming. According to a poll given to third graders in Encino, we're overdue for a massive earthquake that will destroy us all. Fires will erupt, dams will break. Hopefully those two will happen in unison, causing the water to put out the fires. Unfortunately it rarely seems to work that way - as an experienced Sim City player I can say this with much confidence.

So I say this to those living in regions with horrible weather - appreciate your snow storms, your tornados, your thunder showers. Most of these things can be predicted by experts. They look at weather patterns, they see what's coming, and they prepare you. Our "experts" stare at rock samples and go "I think it's gonna move soon...." They've been saying it for thirty years. Now they may be crazy, but they may be right. It's like you've been blowing up the same balloon for the last thirty years, and even the third grader next to you has enough brains to say "it's gonna explode." He may only be in third grade, but he knows wassup.

We have no idea when this thing is coming, but as soon as it does, trust that Andrew and JJ will be there, on the scene, giving you all of the gruesome details. Unless we too have been attacked by a falling roof or an entertainment center. Just to be safe, I sleep with an extra can of cat food at my bedside every night. When Armageddon hits, I don't want Hobbes to go hungry.

Sunset, Cruising, and Big Wallets

Andrew and J.J. speak of the popular Sunset Blvd along with other ground breaking material.

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Post Klum Record Release

Andrew and J.J. argue their relationship troubles and how they will survive after a life changing game of Paper Rock Scissors.

Pre Klum Record Release

Andrew and J.J. complete their first mobile broadcast on their way to the Klum record release party for "We Carelessly Turned Amazingly Into Nothing." Check it out on itunes.  

AC/DC is not just electricity.

Ever since I was 16 years of age I have been in love with the music of AC/DC. I remember sitting in Spanish class talking to Chris Meyers about them. He was actually the person that spurred my interested in this Aussie group.

He would wear the "Highway to Hell" album t-shirt almost once a week which caused us to continue our conversations. I started collecting many of their albums and listening to everything AC/DC. At one point I caught my mom humming "If You Want Blood." I then knew I was listening to them too much....A Touch too much.....

Did you know that AC/DC has had over 15 albums since 1975? These guys have been around for a long time and their sound has never changed since their first strum on High Voltage. That is why I like them so much. When you buy a ticket to the concert or buy the latest (or oldest) album, you know that you are going to get scratchy vocals from Brian Johnson or a whiny melodic sound from Bon Scott. I can't leave out the leads from Angus Young. Andrew and I saw them at the forum in December and when Angus came running out on stage in his school boy uniform, I nearly lost my voice from cheering so loud. I hadn't seen them since the Stiff Upper Lip tour in 2000 and was amazed that the show hasn't changed. Not to mention, the crowd hasn't changed either. It was nice to be "home." If you ever have a chance to see them in concert sell your children to do so. Its a great time. I love wading through the fans, t-shirt vendors, glowing devil horn salesmen, and the topless girls. Did I mention topless girls? Yea, they are everywhere. I mean everywhere. If you don't go for the music, go for that.

An AC/DC lover for life,
J.J.

Technically the First Podcast

The real first podcast. Sorry for all the confusion. We will get this stuff down soon enough.

Add us on your itunes. Just copy and paste this into your browser.
itpc://feeds2.feedburner.com/TenMinutesWithAndrewAndJj

Chinese Food, Reagan Library, and Valley Restaurants

Due to some technical difficulties we are having some problems with Itunes. Please be patient. We will be up there shortly....again......I hope......for the love of God I hope.....

Peanut Butter and Jelly Will Pay the Bills

Andrew here, wanting to share the experience of a lifetime - that of the strangest job interview I have ever encountered. 

It occurred to me this morning as I drove to El Segundo (just a five-minute pogo stick trip from LAX) that I was going into a situation that might be a bit out of my realm. Having been gainfully unemployed for what feels like a lifetime (it's been seven hours) I reluctantly applied to a video game company in hopes of becoming a "Game Tester." The position involves playing video games for eight hours a day, searching for "bugs" and recording them on a "computer." Sounds simple, yeah?

As it turns out, I am not much of a gamer. I play Flight Simulator at times to feed my flying obsession; in times like these it's cheaper to pretend to fly than to drive to Van Nuys for a plane, rent it, gas it, get in it, fly it, land it, park it, cover it, leave it, and drive home. The nice thing about Flight Simulator is there are no aliens or Russians out to kill me with any number of different weapons, including but not limited to chain saws, swords, rocket launchers and Jewish-mother-guilt-trips. It's just good 'ol fashioned fun. 

I discovered that this is not the ideal situation for most game players. Living in Los Angeles, one would think we have enough to deal with: earthquakes, fires, floods, mud slides, shootings, stabbings, muggings, undercover cops posing as prostitutes, and so on. The avid video game fan in L.A. wants more. They want to blow things up, burn things down and spar with alien life forms. (I assumed the last one referred to a game along the lines of Boarder Patrol: Maximum Punishment where you slaughter as many illegal immigrants and their children/pets as possible while they scale a fence or ford a river in the dead of night; it turns out no such game exists. Yet.) 

That said, walking into the interview I discovered a group consisting of 12 nerds and me. Okay, fine, 13 nerds. We were led into a computer lab and placed in front of our individual XBOX 360 consoles, which I am told is some sort of gaming system-type thing. Then the fun began.

"This is a writing job," the moderator said. "We need you to be able to communicate well." I glanced around the room - everyone was still awake. We were all still on even playing ground. How to get ahead of the competition? I would soon find out.

"Your first task will be to write a description for me of how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You have 15 minutes. You may begin."

Sweet! I used to be a chef. This would be simple. So I quickly wrote my description down - being finished first is always a sign of strength in the workplace. It read as follows:

I would make my housekeeper do it. It's her job and delegating responsibility is the only way to get ahead, and I'm not paying her to sit on the couch and watch Maury Povich all day. 

I waited for 14 minutes while the rest of the group labored through their answers, none of which I am sure were up to par with my fantastic response.

Next came the real test - playing a game. We were given instructions on how to spend the next hour searching for bugs in Quantum of Solace, which I believe was the sequel of To Kill A Mockingbird. I saw almost no relevance between the two and quickly reported that the game was seriously flawed. I don't remember many shoot-outs on German military bases in To Kill A Mockingbird, but I'm no programmer. I'm just a dude.

I went through each level, growing ever-more confident of my choice to withdraw from British Spy classes at Los Angeles Community College. I was shot so many times in the hour I played, I actually started to feel a piece of my soul die near the 45-minute mark. I reported each death as a "bug." Clearly the intent is for this James Bond character to live.

Our time finished; I shut down my console and turned in my pages of notes detailing the many flaws of the game, not the least of which is that Bond's belt didn't match his shoes in the airport level, a fashion choice I can't imagine he would make. Overall, I feel good about the entire process. Though I was never asked any of the typical interview questions, i.e. "what makes you think you'd be good at this job?" or "how did you get into my office?" I feel as though my personality and determination were on display for the higher-ups at the game company to see, and I can imagine it's only a matter of time before Los Angeles has one less unemployed individual - the guy sitting next to me. He had fantastic hair.

Our Place at Podcast Alley

My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-bd0856e1fe5516df2c2e234590100ece}

Downtown/Union Picture Page

Here are a few pictures from when Downtown/Union was in the Studio.