2009.06.29


Andrew and J.J. remember fallen celebrities and discuss the need to hire an intern using Andrew's Craigslisting skills.


Extremely high profile podcast hosts seeking one intern. You HAVE
heard of these two celebrities - we are unable to post the name of the
show due to security reasons. Finalists will be notified via email.
Fast-paced production environment with zero room for error. The last
intern to successfully complete this position now runs his own Fortune
500 company in Hong Kong. The last intern to make a mistake on the job
(brought 7-Up into the studio when Sprite was demanded) has not been
seen since and is rumored to be living in a mental institution in
Utah. This position can make you or break you - the choice is yours.

Applicants must be thick-skinned and able to juggle many things at
once (swords, flaming torches, small woodland creatures, etc.)
Confidentiality is extremely important as these hosts are in the
public eye every single day, and what you read in the National
Enquirer, US Weekly, People, The New York Times, the Los Angeles
Superior Court Subpoena - is almost always false. This job does not
require personal errands (child care, dry cleaning, burying of
undisclosed items) as those jobs are handled by a well-respected
Italian individual. This position is not for the faint of heart; if
the sound of bones cracking or the site of burning human flesh bothers
you, this is not the internship experience you are looking for. The
show staff includes two A+ list celebrities who are seen on television
and in print every day of the year, and the show's executive producer,
who has decades of industry experience, 7 Ph. Ds in various fields, a
multi-million dollar home in the hills of Los Angeles and a temper
that Variety proclaimed "makes Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada
looks like Mr. Rogers." Interns will rarely, if ever, deal directly
with him.

Duties include:
Lunch runs
Studio upkeep
Scheduling/Phones/Travel Arrangements
Special Projects as assigned by the tyrannical Executive Producer

Requirements:
Multi Tasking
Attention to detail a must
Proficiency with Word/Excel/Outlook/Tazers/
Brass Knuckles
Able to lie in court
Ability to evade oncoming law enforcement officials at all costs
Willing to travel outside of the country for long periods of time,
possibly forever, at a moment's notice
Must be willing to put aside morals and better judgement in order to
do what is right for the show, not what it is right for the
environment/the children, etc.

Serious inquiries only. College credit is not currently available due
to the producer's sour relationship with most institutions of higher
learning. As he nears completion on his eighth Ph. D dissertation (
Language literacy as a socialization agent for Hispanic juvenile
offenders) he does not wish to deal with universities at this time.

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