What Did YOU Do Today?

In my abundance of free time over the last six months, I have discovered that the mind tends to wander, the body becomes lazy, the spirit detached. Motivation and determination are replaced with education and suffocation. Allow me to explain.
Day One of my unemployment routine went something like this:
8 AM - Breakfast (Eggs, bacon and toast)
8:30 AM - Apply for jobs
12 PM - Lunch (Grilled hamburger and fries)
12:30 PM - Apply for jobs
7 PM - Dinner (Spaghetti with meatballs, garlic bread, salad)
8 PM - Walk the dog
9 PM - Read a book
10 PM - Bed time

The human spirit tends to dissipate after six months of unsuccessful job hunting. A typical day in my life now follows a somewhat different pattern:

8 AM - Still in bed
8:30 AM - Yep, sleeping
11 AM - Maybe I'll get up
12 PM - Okay, fine, I'll get up
12:30 PM - Breakfast (Half-eaten Hershey bar)
1 PM - Facebook
4 PM - Lunch (Captain Crunch out of the box)
4:30 PM - Facebook
6 PM - Facebook
8 PM - Look at the dog
8:30 PM - Watch a rerun of Newsradio on Hulu
10 PM - Wikipedia
11 PM - Think about looking for a job
11:30 PM - Dinner (Microwave burrito and potato chips)
12 AM - Facebook
1 AM - Stretch
2 AM - Facebook

As you may notice, there are subtle differences between the two schedules. These differences happened gradually until I woke up one day and realized I had fallen into the bottom of a pit of despair and Captain Crunch berries. Upon slamming into the bottom of the pit, my feelings were hurt, my ego was bruised and my Rush t-shirt somehow got torn right across Geddy Lee's face.

I mentioned education becoming a part of my daily routine. While I am sure this sounds productive, I can assure you that it is not. Did you know that the San Francisco trolley system is run by four 520-horsepower motors? Were you aware that Fantasio was not the original inventor of the appearing candle illusion? Are you privy to the fact that there are approximately 670 types of well known cheese? Or that it is illegal to peal an onion in a hotel room in Montana, but you will only be fined rather than imprisoned, whereas in Connecticut it is a felony to murder someone while wearing a mask? This is the "education" I have succumbed to - useless facts that would put an accountant to sleep.

What's horrific is the amount of things I COULD be doing, but am not. I would like to insert pictures with this post, but I won't. It's not because I don't want it to look pretty, it's because every time I add pictures, it screws up the format, and rather than looking up ways to fix this, I have found it easier to simply give up and give to you, the loyal reader, a sub par product. My oil needs to be changed. In fact, my oil has needed to be changed since November. I didn't have time in November, and the little sticker on the corner of my windshield kept taunting me, yet I couldn't take my car in because I was too busy WORKING.

The problem with unemployment is that it causes procrastination. If I had a nickel for every time I've said "I can do that tomorrow...it's not like I have anything else to do..." well, then I would have a full time job right there. Sadly no one pays money to someone so that they can procrastinate. Well, except for the U.S. Government, which according to the Internet is conspiring against us in ways you can not even fathom.

A wise half-Mexican once told me, "It's the people that have things to do all day that get things done. It's the people that have nothing to do that accomplish nothing as well." I have discovered that it rings true. When I was working, I was very productive. The house was clean, the yard was trimmed, the car was washed, the economy was thriving and gas was a dime a gallon. Now look at where we are. There are paw prints on the ceiling, we can't find the yard, I assume the car is IN the yard somewhere, the economy is probably in the TRUNK of the car, and the car doesn't run because gas is 57 bucks a gallon and September 11th was an inside job and the dinosaurs never existed and Barack Obama is a robot operated using nuclear power supplied by Vietnam.

I have to go. Someone sent me a comment on Facebook.