People Say Things That Piss Me Off

Many of you, like Andrew, like to say catch phrases. I call you people...Crazy. I will give you two examples. "Every dog has its day" and "A bird in hand beats two in the bush." These I can handle, even thought they make no sense and I find worthless. Here are a few more for your reading pleasure:

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1. "What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas."

I love Vegas, but tell that to the guy that walked away from the Bunny Ranch with Herpes. Or the girl that lost all her money to the Blackjack table. Frankly, this is a saying most reserved for people that have casual sex and don't want to tell their partners/girlfriends/grandmothers that they are whores. Yea, I said it whores. Better yet, crack whores.

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2. "We Work Hard, and Play Hard."

Really, or is this just a saying that bosses tell you as a new employee so you'll work 12 hours a day for a week and then pile on more work for the weekend?

Boss: "We work hard, and play hard here."

Me: "Doesn't look like YOU'RE working at all. What?!?!? You're going to Florida this weekend to visit your boyfriend? Oh thats cool...I'll be here in this hole in the ground doing all this work while you cook in the sun and hopefully get skin cancer."

Oh! Whatever happens in Florida, apparently stays there too.

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3. "What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger."

Here is a brain buster I have always hated. What about getting hit by a car and breaking every bone in your body? What about a stroke? Better yet, what about severe dismemberment? I don't have feet, but look on the bright side, that Combine didn't kill me...even though I wish it did. Let's see the guy with no feet squat 600 pounds.

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So the next time you say one of these, please think about it. You never know when your grandmother will call and ask about your weekend in Florida. Hopefully, your reply isn't, "Oh, it went swimmingly, I got Herpes, Skin Cancer, and had my feet cut off by a Combine."